come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
