what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
