Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize