why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
