I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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