So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
