Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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