i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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