Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
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On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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