All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
