i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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