I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
