He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
