just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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