If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
