i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
