I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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