I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
