You can't motorboat a personality
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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