If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
