..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Congratulations! We have a period
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