I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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