SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
