The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Success! We fucked roommates!
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