so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You pole danced in your parka.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
