i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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