Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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