Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Couch. On fire.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
