What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
