is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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