Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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