girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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