I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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