Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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