whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire