i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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