Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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