she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
