nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
