How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
