Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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