I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
