i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
