If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
