i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize