oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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