Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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