Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
