she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
