I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize