Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
