At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
