North Korea, Best Korea!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
