lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Randomize
