Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
