break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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