found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
