wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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