hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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