He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
