haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize