how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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