If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just forgot I was standing up.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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