i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
