and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
