Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
