There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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