A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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